February 8, 2007: Intestinal Strangulation- PATHOLOGICAL BRUTALISTIC FERMENTATION

Greetings foes- I present: ALBUM OF THE DAY.

Today's album is none other than Intestinal Strangulation's Pathological Brutalistic Fermentation.

This band hails from California- a sea of hippies, vegans, plastic surgeons and gaggles of grind bands. Seriously, there is an obscene amount of death/grind bands in California. Most of them are expendable and only worth a listen or two, if that, but there are of course some great bands hailing from California. To start off, we have Intestinal Strangulation.

I pooped in PBR and was pleasantly surprised. They had a decently distinct sound, I mean not really, but they're not boring and that's 90 percent of the battle. The main aspect of Intestinal Strangulation that one could consider an appeal is their leads. The guitar work is melodic but not gay. NOT GAY I SAY!!! If anything the melody put in by the guitar work only makes it sound better. It gives the songs some distinction. It's not just the constant battering and chugging that can commonly occur in a band like this.

The vocals are not tremendously outstanding or remarkable, but they get the job done and that's A-Ok in my book. No high pitched screams, so you know, we all come out winners.

I say this album is good. It's not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but few are.

New plan: ALBUM OF THE DAY

That's right, fucker, album of the day. What spectacular sensation can you expect from this new feature? A daily shitty review of an album? WRONG. There's no chance in Hell I'll remember to do it daily, but that is the idea we are going for. So, I bid you no adieu- album of the day!!

The First Album of 2007: Infernal Revulsion

The official first album of 2007 that I have listened to is Infernal Revulsion's Devastate Under Hallucination. I approve of these Japanese folks' compositions. Balls to the wall, brutal, guttural death metal. The bass drum sounds a bit weird, but is easy to get used to. Everything else seems to sound good as well. nothing groundbreaking, but fairly tight and well executed. If 2007 is anything like this for the rest of the year, then prepare for a great year.

MEAT GRINDER'S OFFICIAL APOLOGY

I regret to realize I gave a positive review for A Matter of Life and Death on September 11 of all days. I want you to know that I was naive and that review is a bunch of horse shit. That album sucks and if you value your money, don't buy it. I from now on promise to recognize crap as I see it.

Additionally, my original review for Christ Illusion was not mean enough. That album sucks even worse. God, I hate being naive.

ALSO!

READ THE REVENGE'S BLOG, It's similar to this here one, but slightly different. The link is in the links section to the right.

Top 5 Best and Worst of 2006

Well my dear kiddies, it's another crunchy, yet delicious post from your pal, the Meat Grinder. I realized something was missing. Something All the cool kids were doing that I hadn't done yet. Oh my, a compiled list of the best albums of 2006! Indeed that is it! And being the conformist that I am, here is my list. Surely the Worst list will interest you more, so i will put that first and you can just not read what albums I cared about this year.

Craptacular #5:


Rob Zombie- Educated Horses

I wanted to like this album, I truly did. Hellbilly Deluxe is always a fun spin and his two movies were fun, so why wouldn't this album be good? Because it sucks. I told myself I liked it at first. I told others I did. I'm a liar. I don't know why Rob's voice got cleaner and more nasally, but that's crap factor #1, crap factor #2 is that the music is overall boring and bland and almost pop-ish. Pop is the devil's work, and very few can do it right, Rob Zombie didn't.

Craptacular #4:

TIE!!!

Dissection- Reinkaos & In Flames- Come Clarity

I decided that these two albums suck. Nobody likes melodeath, and if you do, you like hot rods in your asshole on a nightly basis. Why did I proclaim this a tie? They're the same fucking album. The same crap, and I'm sad I bought one of them.

Craptacular #3:

Iron Maiden- A MAtter of Life and Death

Yet another album I tried telling myself I liked. Steve and the boys- we get it, you can release whatever the fuck you want and you'll still have 3 million fanboys eating it up no matter how horrible it is. Bruce- your voice died 10 years ago, stop publishing it, or at least do what ll these other bands do and patch it up with machines. This album was relentlessly boring and seemingly half-assed and the live show was too. I want my 50 bucks back. I feel raped.

Craptacular #2:

Queensryche- Operation: Mindcrime II

The first was great, and these guys knew exactly what they were doing. They were cashing in on the franchise name. Just like all sequels do. This album sucks.

Craptacular #1

SLAYER- CHRIST ILLUSION

What a piece of shit. Who actually thought this would be good? Who still thinks this is good? It sounds so forced and shitty. These guys need to put it to rest. Every song reeks of half-assedness and it's all bland, boring and shitty. If you've heard one Slayer album, you've heard them all, but some shittier than others. I'm sick and tired of washed up bands released crappy albums and succeeding because millions of people will go crazy for that crap anyway. That is something 2006 was an abundance of.


5th Best-

Ghoul- Splatterthrash

This is an impressive album. Ghoul always impress. If you want to be kicked in the face by a surfer/punk/thrash megaforce, listen to Ghoul. Splatterthrash isn't as memorable as Maniaxe, but it's filled with plenty of gems anyhow. Such songs as Gutbucket Blues, Bury the Hatchet, and the title track will keep you bangin' your head for hours.

4th Best-

Venom- Metal Black


A lot of people may not agree with me on this choice, but I found this album to be very enjoyable. It's some of Venom's best work in years, although a bit different. This is basically some in your face, take no prisoners, kick your ass thrash metal. The lyrics are sometimes a little goofy, but I'll forgive it. There are many memorable tracks on this disc. Hopefully one day Metal Black will be remembered as a classic.

3rd Best-


Blood Freak- Live Fast, Die Hard...And Leave a Flesh Eating Corpse!


There's something about this album that is really fun. The mood is real upbeat, yet gets the point across that you're there to bash some skulls. The guitar riffs are the most notable part of this masterpiece. Maniac Neil has alot going on in those riffs. Keep listening to this album, you'll keep finding more cool stuff layered in the songs. I think Neil really won with this album.

2nd Best-


Motorhead- Kiss of Death

This album really astounded me. It was so great, I couldn't believe it. I wasn't expecting greatness after the disappointments of OMII, but this album ruled 100%. Lemmy never fails. This thing is chock full of classics and can be listened to all the time. There's not much to say other than you need this album.



THE BEST ALBUM OF 2006:
CANNIBAL CORPSE- KILL

Being my favorite band, it wouldn't be right for me not to deem Kill the best album, but this album is actually rightfully the best of 2006. There were a lot of great albums in 2006, but I'll say this one takes the cake. Cannibal Corpse's last couple of efforts have been below par, but this is honestly the best thing CC has made since Bloodthirst, maybe even Vile. Again, there's a lot of awesome riffage and memorable songs. The production is much better on Kill than on The Wretched Spawn. TWS's production was too clean, it almost sounded like a metalcore album. Kill does everything just right, and may I be one to say- it is fantastic Rob is back on board.

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That's it. There's my two cents. In the worst of list, I did leave a lot of shitty turds out, like Trivium and Mastodon, but I really only considered stuff I was giving a fair chance prior to listening.

Band of the Week: GHOUL

I haven't done one of these in a while, so why not indulge a little? My band of the week this week is Ghoul. If you don't know of Ghoul- fuck you. If you don't like Ghoul- fuck you even more-so. These Creepsylvanian thrash fiends are some of the utmost top-notch stuff that you will ever have grace your ears. In an age where a lot of thrash bands have sold out or just suck, Ghoul prevails with such masterpieces as Maniaxe and We Came For the Dead!!!.
Ghoul incorporate so much int0 their music that listening to them for the first time is like taking a cold bath in Hell- it's damned refreshing. Ghoul incorporate thrash, punk, death metal, surfing music and even some grind. These guys take a real risk incorporating all of this- it could very potentially suck, but they succeed and make a very unique yet familiar sound that is simply incredible.

We Came for the Dead!!! (2001)- This album is a grade A death rash/ grind album. This, being their earliest, is where the real grind roots are heard. This is just 100% kickass material that you need to hear.

Maniaxe (2003)- This album is probably in the Top 5 greatest metal albums for me. Every aspect of this album is a masterpiece. This album is really fun and more surfer/punk alements become apparent in this album. Plus the cover o What a Wonderful World is really fucking awesome.

Splatterthrash (2006)- This album is ina similar lieu of Maniaxe. I haven't given it enough time yet, but so far it's Ghoul's least impressive work. That said, Ghoul are at such a level of amazing that even work that is not that good for them is still way above par.

In final, you need to hear ghoul.

http://www.creepsylvania.com

What the Fuck: DISSECTION: Reinkaos

Well- you all should know about Dissection, if not for their music, then for main man Jon Nodtveidt's history and infamy. Anyway, Dissection are widely known for their first two albums that revolutionized Black/blackened death/melodic death metal back in the early-mid 90s. Fair enough. Then Nodtveidt went to prison for murder charges.

Circa 2006- Jon Nodtveidt is now out of prison and releases a new Dissection album after 11 years. That's where the problem begins. I picked up Reinkaos (which I assume means "Reign in Chaos") because I heard some good things about their new sound and that it was top notch death metal. Hah. This album is a piece of trash. I feel ashamed paying 13 bucks for it. I wish I had purchased a burrito instead (Notice my recurring theme of buying burritos in place of shitty albums? Yeah, I'm fat. Fuck you.).

This album consists of run of a run of the mill vocal performance and more unforgivable: crappy music. I wish I had read up on this album more so i would know it weren't a melodic/Gothenburg album. This album is completely in lieu with the Gothenburg sound and it pisses me off. Unless you're At The Gates, Gothenburg death metal reeks of bland. This album reminds me of slightly runny shits. i don't know why, but it does.

Anyway, the music- there's some nice ambient intros to some of the songs which then turn round and punch me in the nuts with a horrific breakdown and shitty structure. What I will give Dissection is that they have some pretty cool soloing in this album, but then that morphs into more melodeath bullshit that makes me scream at the thought of "scenesters" pummeling me with their karate dancing.

Final Word: Don't buy this unless you like In Flames' cocks in your mouth daily.

Album That Downright Sucks: HOME SWEET HOME

Nunwhore Commando 666- A cyber-pornogrind band with members from Libido Airbag and Gut. Shit. I should have known this would have sucked, but I'm a sucker for funny band names and Germans. Anyway, the purpose for this review is to keep you away from this shitfest. If you were like me and had 8 dollars burning in your pocket, go buy a burrito or put it towards some drugs, because NWC666 will make you vomit and shit your pants without the good high.

Every track features hip hop beats with a gaggle of looped sound effects and some very gutteral, down-tuned vocals. Supposedly this is supposed to equate to uber-br00tal grindcore, but really it's just a giant shit-sandwhich invading your ears.

Apparantly real instruments are played by the members (respectively named Demon Lord Sarcofuck 666, Pumpgun Messiah and Cuntshredding Electro Jesus [my personal favorite]) but it's nigh impossible to detect such a presence. The songs have funny titles, but they all sound like the same crap. I would give better detals as to the music, but it's hard with what is given. It's all audio clips, crappy drum machines and hog noises.

I give 1/10 for the pussy shots in the inlay, but other than that, Home Sweet Home gets a 0.


Closing Comments : Even if this was supposed to be a joke, they need to be shot for releasing and charging money for this crap.

Final Rating : 1/10

Band you should hate: OPEN THE SKIES

Flame this atrocity of a band.

http://www.myspace.com/opentheskiesband

Band you should hate: OPEN THE SKIES

Flame this atrocity of a band.

http://www.myspace.com/opentheskiesband

EP I wrote about: HAMMER SMASHED FACE

^^^HAHA! Incredibly shit quality picture.

I'm lazy so I'm Ctl+C/Ctl+V'ing my review for Cannibal Corpse's "Hammer Smashed Face":


Hammer Smashed Face is Cannibal Corpse's first EP recorded in 1993. It boasts three trakcs adding up to a little more than 15 minutes.
The first track is the notoriously classic Cannibal Corpse single "Hammer Smashed Face". The song is very strong and has some really killer riffage from the guitars that make it an equally pummeling yet creepingly seething song. It alternates from fast to slow bits, and both are executed masterfully well, again- primarily because of the amazing riffs put into this song. The drums are done well- as can be expected from Paul.

The last two tracks are covers. The first being a cover of Possessed's "The Exorcist". This song is probably the weakest point of the EP. It's good, but it's vastly mediocre to alot of CC's other covers. To no fault of Cannibal Corpse- It is my belief that Possessed themselves didn't create tremendously exciting music.

The other cover is that of the Black Sabbath song "Zero the Hero". i'm not a Black Sabbath fanboy, but I found this to be an extremely well done cover. cannibal Corpse are very good at sludgy grooves much like the ones displayed in this song. The guitars as usual are very good- but what is extremely prominant in this song are Alex's bass work and Chris' vocals. Yes- you can almost understand Chris in this cover. Nothing against incoherency, but chris does an excellent job. The song is very slow for Cannibal Corpse and it's a nice change from the usual.

So, overall, this is a very good EP. Mind you, though, it is only 3 songs. All 3 songs are available on other releases that might be a bit more worth your money, but if you are a die-hard collector, like myself, this is a very handy disc that you can't be without.